When Grief Changes God

“Then I said, “It is my grief, that the right hand of the Most High has changed.’” ~ Ps 77:10

Pain often has a way of skewing how we see God. Like storm clouds hide the warm rays of the sun, suffering can overshadow God’s compassion, mercy, love. Some moments it seems to whisper, “God isn’t good.” At other times, it screams, “God has left you.”

Perhaps you have felt, or are feeling, something similar. Sorrow so great that nothing seems to bring relief. God feels thousands of miles away. Perhaps it’s a break up, a job loss, a car crash. Maybe a loved one died, or it’s an addiction you can’t shake, or loneliness that causes your heart to ache. Whatever the cause of pain, it feels impossible to find comfort. You look to God and find nothing. Friends’ words offer no lasting hope. It appears God has fled the scene.

This is exactly what Asaph, author of Psalm 77, experienced. While we don’t know the specifics of his circumstance, it was powerful enough to rock his world. He could find no escape from his sorrow. He laments, “my soul refused to be comforted” (77:2). He wondered if God had stopped loving him. Had God abandoned His people? Had He spent all His grace? Would God no longer forgive, restore, rebuild? Had His anger sapped all His compassion?

But in the midst of the darkness of questioning God’s character, a light began to shine. Asaph awakened to the reality that God does not change (77:10; cf., James 1:17). Rather, it was his despair that had altered his perspective of God.

With this new understanding Asaph consoles his soul, “I will meditate on all Your work and muse on Your deeds” (77:12). He decides to shift his focus from his sorrow to God’s past dealings with him and the nation of Israel. He hoped in the unchanging nature of God. If He showed love in the past, He will show it in the future. If He delivered before, He will deliver again. If He gave good gifts in the past, He will give good gifts once again.

When the storms of life crash on us, we can cling to God’s works in the past. We must refuse to focus on our circumstances. People, places, and times may change, but God’s goodness remains the same. Tears may fall but God still loves. Hearts may break but God still mends. Panic may overwhelm but God still calms storms. Sinners transgress but God still transforms hearts of stone. A terminal diagnosis may come but God still raises the dead.

So when tragedy rattles our world, let’s remember. Let’s lift our eyes to the Rock of all rocks, the One who is sturdy, strong, unchanging. In so doing our souls find comfort, relief, hope. As Asaph says, “Your way, O God, is holy; what god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; You have made known Your strength among the peoples” (77:13, 14).

God in Our Grief

God cares about our pain. I often forget this truth when I suffer. My earthly tears tend to hide His heavenly face. But the truth is, as the fierce winds of grief swirl about us, God stands to offer us support, comfort, and understanding. He is “the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (1 Cor 1:3, 4).

We live in a fallen world where, throughout our lives, we experience pain, struggles, and loss. We cannot escape these effects of sin. Hope, however, comes from trusting the God who redeems even painful events, bringing about our transformation. God miraculously causes all things in believers’ lives to work for good (Rom 8:28). This includes grief.

Furthermore, we have a Savior who walked on this earth and encountered the sorrows of life as a human. Recall the story of Jesus mourning the loss of His friend Lazarus (John 11:1–44). He hurt. He wept. He grieved. He experienced the overwhelming sense of loss that we often encounter in this broken world.

So when the winds of loss come against us, let our relationship with God help support us through the emotional whirlwind. Let us learn to receive understanding, compassion, and hope from the God of all comfort. He supports us through His love, His compassion, and His experience. And in knowing God more deeply, we will come to look more like Jesus (Rom 5:3-5).