Watching and Waiting

“In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; in the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch” (Ps 5:3).

Most of us pray. Perhaps not as often as we would like or as eloquently as we would like. But still we pray. We petition God. We ask Him to move. We ask Him to intervene. We long for Him to act on our behalf. So we pray for anything from wisdom in relationships to obtaining a job to healing from cancer. We may pray in the morning, we may pray in the evening, in our bed or in our car, sitting down or on our knees. Whenever, however, we send forth our voice into the heavenly realm.

And many of us leave it at that. We say our prayers and then go on with our day or go to sleep. We tend to think of prayer as only the voicing of our requests. But in Psalm 5 David includes another part in his petitioning— watching.

He says his morning prayers, and then throughout the rest of the day David looks for God’s response. More than mere lip-service, as if he half-heartedly believes something will result from his prayer, he comes to God because he believes God will help. He is fully convinced God cares about his situation and more so, that God will do something about it. In an act of faith, he watches, eagerly anticipating His response.

Sometimes I wrestle with watching. There are circumstances in my life in which I plead with God for His active involvement. Most days He seems silent. I see no movement. I receive no response. There are moments (that sometimes turn into days) in which I struggle to believe He will come to my aid.

But the words and actions of David keep me lifting my eyes upward. God may not always give us what we want or respond the way we want. For many reasons, perhaps unknown to us, God may not answer our request as we desire. But sometimes He will. However He moves we can rest in the truth that He is always with us and in every situation, painful or joyful, working for our good and His glory (Rom 8:28). At minimum then we can watch how he labors for these in the midst of our longings.

So what about you? When you pray, do you think He hears you? Are you convinced He cares? Do you think He is able to and will work in the situation?

David concludes his prayer, "For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O LORD, You surround him with favor as with a shield" (v.12). Let his words of faith encourage us to keep watch, believing and hoping in God’s loyal love. And may the Spirit grant us discernment to note the gentle, sometimes subtle, hand of God weaving through the moments of our day.

When Grief Changes God

“Then I said, “It is my grief, that the right hand of the Most High has changed.’” ~ Ps 77:10

Pain often has a way of skewing how we see God. Like storm clouds hide the warm rays of the sun, suffering can overshadow God’s compassion, mercy, love. Some moments it seems to whisper, “God isn’t good.” At other times, it screams, “God has left you.”

Perhaps you have felt, or are feeling, something similar. Sorrow so great that nothing seems to bring relief. God feels thousands of miles away. Perhaps it’s a break up, a job loss, a car crash. Maybe a loved one died, or it’s an addiction you can’t shake, or loneliness that causes your heart to ache. Whatever the cause of pain, it feels impossible to find comfort. You look to God and find nothing. Friends’ words offer no lasting hope. It appears God has fled the scene.

This is exactly what Asaph, author of Psalm 77, experienced. While we don’t know the specifics of his circumstance, it was powerful enough to rock his world. He could find no escape from his sorrow. He laments, “my soul refused to be comforted” (77:2). He wondered if God had stopped loving him. Had God abandoned His people? Had He spent all His grace? Would God no longer forgive, restore, rebuild? Had His anger sapped all His compassion?

But in the midst of the darkness of questioning God’s character, a light began to shine. Asaph awakened to the reality that God does not change (77:10; cf., James 1:17). Rather, it was his despair that had altered his perspective of God.

With this new understanding Asaph consoles his soul, “I will meditate on all Your work and muse on Your deeds” (77:12). He decides to shift his focus from his sorrow to God’s past dealings with him and the nation of Israel. He hoped in the unchanging nature of God. If He showed love in the past, He will show it in the future. If He delivered before, He will deliver again. If He gave good gifts in the past, He will give good gifts once again.

When the storms of life crash on us, we can cling to God’s works in the past. We must refuse to focus on our circumstances. People, places, and times may change, but God’s goodness remains the same. Tears may fall but God still loves. Hearts may break but God still mends. Panic may overwhelm but God still calms storms. Sinners transgress but God still transforms hearts of stone. A terminal diagnosis may come but God still raises the dead.

So when tragedy rattles our world, let’s remember. Let’s lift our eyes to the Rock of all rocks, the One who is sturdy, strong, unchanging. In so doing our souls find comfort, relief, hope. As Asaph says, “Your way, O God, is holy; what god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; You have made known Your strength among the peoples” (77:13, 14).

A Refuge For Our Hearts

“Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us (Ps 62:8).”

I find it difficult to trust God. I find faith challenging. I wonder at David’s charge to trust God at all times. Trust God in the midst of the divorce. Trust God in the midst of financial ruin. Trust God in the midst of the job loss. Trust God in the midst of natural disaster. Trust God in the midst of physical, emotional or sexual abuse. How is that possible?

David, who exhorts us, did not lead an enchanted life. He knew well suffering, fear, grief, angst, trauma. For years David lived and served King Saul who repeatedly abused him with his words and actions. Saul not only threatened David’s life but attempted to murder him, to destroy him. David eventually fled for his life and lived on the run for many years. He hid in caves. He feared for his life. And yet in the midst of all this he had the courage to believe. He hoped for deliverance. He trusted God. He rested in His salvation and loyal love.

I wonder how. But his faith didn't mean he never struggled to understand God in the midst of the strife. His psalms of lament capture his frustration, dread and concern. Maybe that is where I err. Maybe I confuse my questions for a lack of faith. Perhaps then what separates those with faith and those with unbelief is not confusion, struggles or doubts but rather where we take these frustrations and sorrows. David exhorts us to pour our hearts—with all their anger, sorrow, fear—before God. To himself he writes, “My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him” (Ps 62:5). For God only. When he felt overwhelmed he ran to God. How often I tend to run to other people and things.

So where do we find our refuge? Television? Alcohol? Food? A busy schedule? A person? David found hope in God. He took shelter in Him. We must remember, however, that a refuge doesn’t make the storm stop; rather, it provides shelter as the storm rages. Shelter as you clean out your desk at work. Shelter as you sign the papers. Shelter as the bruises surface.

In the midst of whatever we may be facing, let us found the courage to bear our hearts before God. Let us dare to hope in His unfailing love. Despite the confusion we may feel or the anger we may have towards Him, let us pour these out at into His arms of grace. May we have assurance knowing that David, a man after God’s own heart, also struggled with God. Yet he still came to Him. And that made all the difference. In coming he received peace, love, hope.