Recently, I took my dog Annie to the vet for a dental cleaning. Prior to performing any dental work, the vet said she would call to let me know how Annie was doing under anesthesia and if she needed any teeth pulled. But when the doctor called me that morning, the news had little to do with her teeth.
Instead, the vet said she had inspected Annie’s body and found that her spleen was enlarged to the size of a softball. She worried it might be cancerous, and if so, Annie would only have 6 months, maybe 12, to live. Due to the risk of the spleen bursting, her dental work no longer took precedence. She needed a splenectomy as soon as possible.
After we hung up from the phone call I immediately crumbled under the weight of the news. Annie is such a sweet dog and has been a comforting canine friend of the last several years as my mom has undergone chemotherapy treatment for cancer. I thought, now my dog too?
As I struggled with the news, I found myself hating death. For the last several years it has threatened to take my mom. It has already taken other loved ones. And now it threatened to take my dog, and I felt angry.
When the vet discovered Annie’s softball-sized spleen my anger towards death was a welcome change from my anger toward God. See, when my mom was first diagnosed with cancer, and as I battled my own health issues with migraines, I often wrestled with God. He all too often became the focus of my anger. Couldn’t He stop all this from happening? Why won’t He intervene? Why won’t He heal?
Maybe you can relate, feeling the loss of loved ones to death. Maybe you’re angry at a diagnosis you’ve just received. Or, maybe you know the pain and anger watching a loved one battle a terminal illness.
If you feel angry at God for the loss of loved ones or of your own health, He can handle your wrestling matches, just as He does mine. I think for many of us feeling anger towards God is part of the process of grief. Even biblical figures felt angry with God and told Him so (Job 31:35, Hab 1:2). At the same time, we can expend our energy fighting the One who can actually bring us great comfort (2 Cor 1:3-4), who is for us (Rom 8:31), and who has already defeated the real enemy who takes from us the ones we love (Rom 6:4-9; 1 Cor 15:20-26).
It has taken many months and many wrestling matches for me to begin surrendering to the reality of God’s goodness no matter my circumstance. Much of this is the result of accepting the truth that God is not my enemy. Death is. Through all the ups and downs, I’m learning His grace, comfort, and strength are ever enduring, day in and day out, good news or bad news, in life or in death.
For even in death there is hope because of the risen Christ. On that old rugged cross, it seemed like death had won the war. But Jesus tricked our enemy, using death to actually bring life. Rising three days later, Jesus, our Savior, overpowered the grave.
So this Easter season be reminded that, in Jesus, death doesn’t have the final word. Resurrection is coming. Jesus will soon render the true enemy, death, forever powerless. Take hold of the hope then that the day is drawing close when God “will wipe away every tear from [our] eyes; and there will no long be any death” (Rev 21: 4a).
And sometimes, even this side of heaven, God gives us glimpses of His power over death and disease. I believe this is what happened with Annie. By His grace and compassion she came through surgery fine, and the tumor was benign. So I celebrate this good news, while letting it point me to the final and perfect resurrection to come. Soon all of us in Christ will say, “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death where is you sting” (1 Cor 15:54b-55)? So as Resurrection Sunday approaches, join me, in fixing our gaze on the triumph of the empty tomb.
For Further Reflection
- When have you felt angry with God over the loss of loved ones or your own health?
- Do you feel like God is your enemy? In what way?
- When you feel angry with God, do you tend to hide from Him, ignore Him, go to Him?
- Read 1 Cor 15:51-57. What happens to death? What will happen to us? What will we say? Who brings about this victory?
- How does knowing victory over death is assured for those of us in Christ bring you hope?
- Consider listening to one of the following songs, "Forever", “What A Beautiful Name”, or “Christ is Risen“.